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(NOT SO) BALLSINGER

It seemed a ballsy move, standing your ground in the face of protests against the invitation of a controversial guest to campus. Yet all those that were protesting will now praise Columbia University President Lee Bollinger for the "dressing down" of his guest.

Without having any particular sympathy for Ahmedinejad, I found Bolinger's comments distasteful, rude, and embarrassing. It is one thing to self-righteously criticize Iran's track record or domestic politics, another to insult your guest ("exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator"), presume him guilty until proven innocent ("I doubt that you will have the intellectual courage to answer these questions"), and draw conclusions about the impact of what your guest will say before he even says it ("Fortunately, I am told by experts on your country, that this only further undermines your position in Iran with all the many good-hearted, intelligent citizens there").

Not to repeat a cliche, but such treatment of a guest would be extremely rare in the Middle East, and were it to occur it would be condemned in the strongest of terms. Mr. Bollinger may have saved his ass with those that opposed the Ahmedinejad invitation. Yet he is simply the next in line of people who, in order not to offend powerful domestic groups, have done a great disservice to the U.S.'s image in the world.

His treatment of Ahmedinejad is driven by politics, something that should be unacceptable on a University campus. The guardian of the two holy places, or the king of Jordan, or Pakistan's Musharraf, or any other petty and cruel yet friendly dictator would not get the same treatment.
According to Columbia's World Leaders Forum web page the President of Turkmenistan spoke the same day Nejad did, though likely without the luxury of a Bollinger introduction. Don't know much about him, though his predecessor was the paragon of petty and cruel dictators. I doubt he would've gotten the same (not-so) ballsy "dressing-down" the axis of eviler did.

A FEW MEANDERINGS

No doubt the region is politicized, perhaps more so than anywhere in the world. This, though, does not mean that there are not people who simply wish to put it all aside and move on with life, a life of greater opportunities for prosperity and happiness. That said, you will be hard-pressed to find a Syrian living in Syria willing to concede on the issue of territory occupied and held in contravention to International Law.

On most other topics, though, the spectrum of opinion spans a wide range. Thus the circulating joke about the recent electricity cuts, pitting an American, a Sudanese and a Syrian, all of which were asked "What is your opinion regarding the recent electric cuts?" is symbolic, best interpreted as self-criticism rather than a symptom of tyranny. The curbs on certain freedoms may be more drastic than elsewhere, but they are certainly not an outlier.

In the joke, by the way, the American answers by asking: "What do you mean by 'cuts'?" The Sudanese answers: "What do you mean by 'electricity'?" while the Syrian responds: "What do you mean by 'what is your opinion'?"

Considering the amount of political maneuvering in the region, and the clout of the players involved, it should be no surprise that speculation and conspiracy-theorizing is particularly pleasurable here. Yet this activity enjoys the mixed blessing of informational overload, a surplus of data that should suffice for accurate inferences yet seeps out of models that do not take into account seemingly irrational behavior. Thus we are left with either apathy or overly general and occasionally outlandish theories. Less happily, with a sinister and heartless game of chess.

To the West of Syria, at the very least, the picture is fairly clear: in Lebanon and Palestine, the United States, France, and others openly support (prop up) political groups that cling to power despite having at best a shaky mandate from the public. The talk of encouraging democracy in those countries is vacuous.

In Iraq, of course, the situation is more complicated. The Washington hawks have turned vultures, and now draw broad circles above the Fertile Crescent, waiting to swoop down when the awaited carrion materializes. If you circle for long enough, though, your vultureness will eventually manifest itself in an indisputable way. But it is not too late, oh vultures: now may be your time to swoop, to chase after live prey, a proud hawk disproving the inferences made from his vulture-like behavior. What better time than now, as your terrestrial deputies, your jackals, are beginning to split the spoils to your exclusion.

This is all off-topic. But allow us another side note: the Damascus book fair ends tomorrow, the 300 or so stands will be packed up, and the numerous throngs of us who spent hours walking around the fair will be deprived of a thoroughly enjoyable way to spend an afternoon.

The weather has reverted to normalcy, still hot and sunny in the daytime, but once again cool and breezy at night. Electricity cuts, of which I only suffered a few hours a day for a bit over a week, have stopped. Although the cuts were a suitable and regular conversation topic, I felt shame and regret when complaining about it to an Iraqi friend, realizing that much of Iraq is ten degrees hotter and without electricity more often than not.

As I wrote some time ago, happy that my initial impression was accurate, Syria's major source of wealth is its people. Perhaps even less exploited than the human wealth is the historical-tourism potential, which in some ways is a blessing, as it translates into the virtual absence of tourist groups. Thus you may find yourself alone at the site of some of the earliest major civilizations, such as Mari, Ebla or Ugarit; or at Roman sites (Palmyra being the one exception) such as Apamea; or at the surreal Byzantine "dead cities" north of Aleppo; or at the early Islamic fortresses at the gates of the desert; or perhaps somewhere else, maybe the cave in the Damascus foothills, where Cain allegedly murdered Abel, or the nearby mountain to which Abel was subsequently dragged and buried by his brother. You will not be overly annoyed by the sparse crowds at the spectacular Crusader forts along the coast, or even by the large numbers of Iranian and Pakistani pilgrims at the two important Shi'a pilgrimage sites, or by the crowds of kids playing tag at the Ummayad mosque in Damascus.

Yes, there are traffic problems. Yes, the government is not perfect here. Yes, the economic indicators are grim. But rest assured, this is not the rogue, evil state it is made out to be. Still, some may think it better to trust the ersatz informed opinions of so-called experts, privy to information many of us must take as an article of faith. As for me, I prefer to trust my senses.

N.B. I recently read an excellent book. "Good Muslim, Bad Muslim," by Mahmoud Mamdani. Highly recommended.

PLEASE KEEP QUIET GEORGE

News may have reached

Crawford, Texas, buddy,

or wherever you may be now,

that the Iraqi national soccer team,

could soon be Asia's soccer champ.

Please keep quiet George,

you had nothing to do with this.

Don't try to paint this as a symptom

of the good that you have done.

Don't talk to us of progress,

or patience, or threats to overcome.

You had nothing to do with this, George,

so please keep quiet.

Do not take away from Iraqis,

that which they did on their own.

The bittersweet tears on the field,

are not what you shed at home.

No, it may not be a big deal to you,

to reach the finals of Asia's cup.

Where's Asia anyway, buddy?

Ain't that kinda far?

But you, my friend, are our guide,

a simple-man's prophet,

a complex-man's puppet.

Now that I think of it:

did you not once mention

reaching the Asia cup finals,

as one of the principal goals

in liberating the savages of Iraq?

TODAY...AND EVERY DAY'S SPECIAL

The Arab lecturer who had emigrated from his country many years before, fleeing hunger and terrorism, roaming from this European university to that one, was this very evening strolling through the streets of a European city. The democracy, justice and order surrounding him were sparkling and orderly, like a Christmas tree.

Umbrellas above people's heads, women atop the sidewalks, and the laws above the people: this was indeed a well-bred civilization, affectionate as a loving housecat!

He went into one of the fancy restaurants to have dinner, where the "maitre" welcomed him with a smile familiar to Westerners, offered him the menu, and stood waiting for his order.

"I am tired of reading and writing all day," the foreign professor said, "would you mind reading the menu to me?"

"It would be my pleasure," the waiter answered with zeal, "we have Scottish whiskey, German beer, Canadian bread, Swiss soup, French cheese, Argentine beef, Russian caviar, Italian pasta, Sri Lankan tea, and Brazilian coffee. The plates and dishes are from the Czech Republic and the napkins and tablecloths from the United States."

The professor felt a deep sense of alienation in all that had just been read to him. His gaze swept across the room, looking for anything that might remind him of his homeland.

"Don't you have anything from the Arab world here?" he asked.

"We don't have anything from the Arab world here other than the busboy," the maitre answered.

* * *

He returned to his country on the first flight, bringing back his experience, his degree, and his excitement, hoping to make up for the time lost these past years. He arrived at the hotel to drop his things off, put his hands in his pockets, and went for a stroll until late at night, along the streets that he loved and had left behind. He took in the air, the earth, the sky, and the stars of these streets, amidst the loud conversations taking place behind its walls. He tired from the long walk and went into one of the restaurants to have dinner, where the maitre approached him with a familiar smile, welcoming him and awaiting his order.

"Read to me the types of food and drink you have," the foreign professor said, "as I was absent from our country for years and years, and may not know what the names of some things mean nowadays."

"We have Lebanese araq, Sudanese beans, Aleppo kebob, Egyptian maloukhia, Saudi kebsa, Iraqi frika, Tunisian couscous, kunefe from Nablus, Jordanian melon, and coffee from Aden, as well as all other types of Arabic dishes," the waiter responded. "And as you can see," he continued, "the kitchen is oriental, the curtains are oriental, the belly dancer oriental, and the music is Arabic, as are the furnishings and the uniforms. The hosts, the cooks, the cashiers and I are also Arab, all 100% Arab!"

The professor took a deep, joyful breath. "You mean you have nothing foreign here?" he asked.

"Never, sir," the maitre answered, "we have nothing foreign here except for the owner of the restaurant…"

* * *

He rolled up his sleeves and plunged into political life, immersed himself up to his earlobes. He became a member of this party and canceled his membership in that one. He joined this organization and opposed that bloc. He lunched with the opposition and dined with the masters. He kneaded the left and breaded the right. He rubbed shoulders with doctors, lawyers, businessmen and resistance figures. He inquired, found out, and comprehended. He explored the depths of Arab politics before and after Camp David. He asked about decisions from the closed-door summits of the rich and powerful. He calculated the divergences and convergences between the opposition groups and the ruling groups and took them to this or that camp. Then he began a number of projects in different fields. And then he opened a restaurant, and stood at its doorway. Customers came in and asked: "Is the meat and the chicken here butchered the Islamic way?"

And every time they did he would answer them, while giving them their fork and knife: "All that is butchered here are the Arab people, in one thousand and one ways."

- Translated from the Arabic original written by Mohammed al-Maghut (from the book "I will betray my country")

GENERALIZATIONS ON THE MIDDLE EAST

THE HEALTH OF THE SYSTEM

Anyone giving Middle East politics serious thought must at some point wonder why it is that dominant world powers strive for a divided and weak Arab World. For while any system based on exploitation will demand that the exploited remain weak and divided, it has become part of our shared knowledge that stability and prosperity for all humans is not only morally important but also politically desirable. This is not to say that the reasons for relative Arab backwardness are essentially due to outside interference, but rather to note that the state of Middle East affairs cannot be understood independent of the current world system.

* * *

The rise of Islam, one may safely say, is one of the most extraordinary events in human history. Within some one hundred years from the birth of this new religion, an enormous geographical space of scattered and decentralized nomadic settlements, trading centers, small independent communities, and others, was transformed into the major empire of its time. This is not to belittle pre-Islamic society, but merely to note that the contrast between what was before and what arose soon thereafter -an empire of unprecedented scientific, literary and political achievements- and within the time-frame which it happened, is nothing short of astonishing. The role of Islam in this transformation cannot be understated.

* * *

Because of the current state of affairs, it should be no surprise that people are turning to religion in a desperate and, perhaps, short-sighted attempt to revive past glory. For whether in its violent revivalist current, its sensible modernizing form, or its simple role as status quo-preserver, Islam no longer has the social power it once did. Still, the perseverance itself makes it seem that one of the reasons behind religion's being to this day so immutably ingrained in Arab culture -as compared to non-Arab Islamic lands and beyond- is a product of how the religion transformed the region. We may thus consider Islam the most sacred component of collective Arab history, whose achievements are spatially evident in the architecture of the region, not to mention confirmed by the historical record.

* * *

Setting aside the expressions of Islam that have taken on a combative form -the darling of the West- the broader interpretation of the more moderate expressions of the religious revival can be negatively seen as a means of refuge, alongside Petrodollars, belly dancers, satellite TV, the love for rhetoric, and others; that is, as yet another of the sedating pleasures that numb the mystical orient's thirst for modernizing change.

* * *

As with other ideologies in our time, religious expression is harmless as long as it does not threaten the values held dear by societies outside of its realm. Once this red line is crossed, as happened a few years back, things begin to change, particularly if the aggrieved party is the holder of the world's greatest means of destruction.

* * *

When right-wing Western leaders point to the fear that religious fundamentalists are in danger of establishing a new, virulently xenophobic Islamic caliphate, it is clear they are either exploiting popular fears for political gain, or, if they truly believe this, are ignorant.

* * *

To call Western interference in the Arab world -whether under the guise of spreading democracy or combating terrorism or WMDs- part of someone's master plan, or even to ascribe it specifically to the United States, is only partially correct and misses the larger picture. For neither terrorism nor WMDs nor spreading democracy are at the heart of the struggle for control over the Middle East, and none of these issues is solely in American interests. Nor is the struggle simply about oil. Rather what is at stake is the health of a world system that depends on all of these factors and more. Is it ironic that the ephemeral excuses given to invade Iraq are all true? Unacceptable are large-scale operations by non-state actors which threaten the idea of nation-states, acceptable is a monopoly on WMDs to ensure which of these states are the rulers (as consecrated by the United Nations), and required are liberal democratic political systems that adhere to the rules of the game. Oil, of course, is at present vital to the health of this capitalist system.

* * *

Although it is obvious that the al-Qaeda-style Islam is ersatz, that its pertinence to our times is mostly as a cry for change with obvious health hazards, it nonetheless should be –as is the case with terrorism historically- be taken seriously.

* * *

The September 11 attacks set off the warning bells within the system, and the natural place to set things straight was the Middle East. Why? The attackers were Arabs, speaking in the name of their Islam. Might it be that Islam is presenting itself as an alternative to this world system? And if it is in its name that people –even if a fringe group only- are violently opposing this system, is it not best to force Muslims to reflect a bit more critically on the premises and application of their religion in the contemporary world system? As an added benefit: given its natural resources, is the Middle East not the ideal region to implement a full-fledged neo-colonial system?

* * *

Our current world system is a consequence of World War II and is meant to avoid the repetition of such an event. When people speak of September 11^th changing everything they look back on a moment in which this world system was put to test and began diverging from its expected trajectory. The response of the United States, from Afghanistan to Iraq, seemed to expose the system as merely a front for something much more sinister than we expected. The political capital lost by exposing this, in the months following the attacks, reverberate beyond the United States, as they embody what this world system is truly about and is capable of doing to self-perpetuate.

* * *

A corrupt system gives rise to new leaders who articulate the system's illness. We can interpret their words narrowly, as saboteurs bent on overthrowing the system, or we can take the wider view, granting them the benefit of the doubt and objectively listening to their critique of the world as it is.

* * *

Western media accuse Hassan Nasrallah of being the leader of a fundamentalist religious organization that aims to extend a Shi'ite crescent across the Middle East, wipe out the Jews of Israel, and establish some nebulous form of theocracy in Lebanon. All this despite the fact that anyone who listens to him can plainly see that his language is that of a secular nationalist leader, his discourse peppered with fewer references to religion than that of al-Hurra's newscasters.

* * *

If we grant him the status of spokesman for the "Arab street," an honorific neither he nor anyone else deserves (but he perhaps more than anyone at present), then we ought to listen. Nasrallah explains a Western project in the Middle East, which he calls the American project, essentially focused on two goals: The protection of Israel and the securing of oil resources. Israel, as he sees it, is the avant-garde of the American army whose role it is to secure oil resources in the Middle East.

* * *

The American strategy took a sharp turn in 1979 with the fall of the Shah, whose government was a friendly source of oil and an ally of Israel. This strategic turn was finally put on the offensive at the beginning of this century, in Iraq with the war to oust Saddam Hussein and in Palestine with the successive assassinations of Hamas's leadership. As we know, neither of these two fronts met success. Last summer a less calculated attempt was made to open a new front: Lebanon. But the project again met failure, and Israel was neither able to gain the release of the captured Israeli soldiers nor to dismantle Hizbullah.

* * *

How is the project carried out? In Iraq, for example, the idea was that the United States could enter Iraq, transform the government into one that favors the dominant world system, and quietly retire its army to military bases away from the people but near the oil fields. A number of professors signed off on this idea, cloaking their ideological preferences behind the veil of academia. Right-wing think-tanks paraded their rhetorically-skilled cadres in Washington and beyond to sell a view that had long before convinced the Bush administration.

* * *

The project is simple: ensure steady oil supplies through liberal democratic governments, suppress any attempt to challenge the dominance of the Security Council, and flex muscles as a warning to future non-state actors. In reality, though, it has become clear that liberal and democratic are not sufficient, and a vital requirement is for the liberal democratic governments to be pliant in the face of the system. If pliant, they need not be anything else, as the "moderate" Arab governments prove. As for the second point, suppressing any challenges to the veto-based United Nations system, it is no wonder that Arabs (the people, not the governments) see the Security Council as nothing more than the strong arm of Western Capitalism. They ask: What percentage of the vetoes in its history have been exercised in Israel's favor? Why is one state allowed to develop nuclear weapons but not others? If commonly accepted moral values are any measure in inter-state relations, the Security Council is an oppressive dictatorship. Is it any wonder that those that lose from it but are strong enough to protest about it want out of this system?

* * *

Nasrallah points to only one aspect of the project which has succeeded, that being the sowing of sectarian conflict in Iraq, of inter-Arab disagreements and tension. Our world system claims to be based on democracy (Security Council aside) rather than force. There is an ideology which is alleged to be the natural choice for the majority, that is, self-representation, and a mechanism to realize them in democratic institutions. The idea is so powerful that simply sowing its seeds will soon yield a healthy crop. It is a non-violent means of resolving political disagreements. In the last few months we may point to models of this system at work, such as Turkey and Ukraine, where disagreements at the top of the political class were resolved by resorting to the popular voice.

* * *

Nasrallah, the West's evil fundamentalist, notes that he has called for early elections to resolve the Lebanese political crisis, a proposition refused by those in power. Alternatively, he has proposed a referendum to be submitted to the Lebanese people, in which all the major issues facing the country could be decided by the Lebanese people: power sharing, electoral laws, Hizbullah weapons, and more. This idea was also rejected by his adversaries.

* * *

Within those Middle East countries whose governments had distanced themselves from the people, specifically Lebanon and Iraq, the violent story of the project for Middle East control continues to be told. Meanwhile, we wait for the outcome with countries that have a somewhat more complicated relation between ruler and ruled, namely Syria and Iran, to see whether force or negotiation will be the means of deciding our outcome.

* * *

Indeed it is no secret that behind all of this is a struggle between, on the one hand, countries who believe that their role in the world system should be larger, and, on the other hand, world economic powers who disproportionately benefit from our current system. Struggles for control over major international economic institutions, nuclear weapons, security council veto, and the very nature of the nation-state system are the ways such power imbalances are expressed and perpetrated.

* * *

Thus we are seeing an attempt to shift the rules of the game. Institutions, from the IMF and World Bank to the IAEA, are in place to perpetuate a system that the undemocratic Security Council safeguards through force. We are seeing Venezuela and Iran on the path of opting-out of this system, for it is a system wherein all of Europe, the United States, and to a lesser extent Russia and the Asian powers simultaneously play the role of the aristocracy, the bourgeoisie and the political class. It is a system with clear rules based on the logic of capitalism. It is a world system from which many of us –myself included- benefit greatly, but one that has lost its logic, becoming a farcical front for shared morality and ideals whose propaganda can no longer cloak the increasing use of force and colonialist methods as a means of self-perpetuation.

* * *

Yet while this system is not ideal, it is also not inherently evil. Let us hope it has not been corrupted beyond control, because if so, our current world system is done with, and we are about to enter into a much less savory era, one that will spread its tentacles at the domestic level in a similarly sinister way as it is currently doing at the international level in the Middle East. Soon after it will begin sniffing for blood elsewhere.

Screening for STDs in the Arab World

Exams for STDs in the Arab world are not to be taken lightly. Particularly in Algeria. There are no sterile lobbies with “How not-to-have-your-dick-fall-off-while-still-getting laid” videos playing pleasantly in the background. No slick pamphlets written in fifth grade English, including full color photos, on the correct way to study your privates for herpes, hepatitis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, warts, lesions, or other assorted genital nightmares with which to pass the time. There are no amiably nervous companions surrounding you in a protective shell of comforting stares and nervous ticks while waiting for your number to be called.
In Algeria, you get none of that shared suffering, uninterested staff efficiency or anonymity. What you get is accusatory glances, whispers back and forth among the staff and, the coup de grace, everyone within a stone’s throw taking their turn looking at the paperwork that you need to submit to have the procedure completed. It is ultimately an exercise in humiliation.
I had to go through this humbling experience recently. No dear reader, it is most certainly not because I drowned myself in vin rouge and threw caution to the wind for a late night tryst with a professional. I needed to have a basic test done for my residency card, and thought that I might as well have an entire work up…just in case.
It starts with what might be referred to as the check-in. Predictably there are three young women behind the desk, two of who are muhajiba (veiled). Trying to explain to a covered woman that you want to get tested for SEXUALLY transmitted diseases is akin to asking a neo-con’s advice on where to find a good partial-birth abortionist. Uncomfortable to say the least. And with my accent betraying my foreign origins, making everyone, receptionists and patients alike, crowd around, it was clear from go that this was going to be an awkward next couple of hours.
One then continues to the consultation where the doctor looks at you, looks at the reason for your visit, looks back at you, asks where you are from (Chicago), asks if you are married (No), asks if you slept with a prostitute (No), asks if you are Muslim (No), tells you that he likes the Chicago Bulls and Al Capone movies (Me too), and then sends you to the first of many stops.
After paying for the test, I need to again stop by the receptionist desk because no one has told me where to go to take it. She asks why I am there, and I say I just spoke to her. And then everyone crowds around to read the paper that she has just written for me detailing the filthy reason for my visit. I am then taken to the basement where I am pointed to another veiled woman who is standing with a broom in a dark room looking like she doesn’t know whether to sweep or turn on the light first. Don’t ask why the woman with the broom should have anything to do with a medical procedure, but in Algeria she apparently is the one you need to go through to get blood drawn. She places the broom against the wall, and asks for my paper. She looks at it and looks at me, and tells me it’s lunchtime. I say I know. She looks at my paper again, and tells me to follow her to a man who has a pen between his teeth and is emptying the trash. She hands him my paper, which he looks at after removing the pen from his mouth, saliva side gently caressing his bare skin. He then looks at me. He tells me its lunchtime, and I say I know.
He smiles, puts down the trashcan, places the pen on the desk, wipes his hands on his pants and asks me to sit down and roll up my sleeve. As he pulls out a needle, I try not to focus on the multiple un-hygienic things I have seen this gloveless man do in the last fifteen seconds. He approaches, and as I see something grey underneath his fingernails I ask, somewhat off handedly, whether he was going to put on gloves. “Mush lazem” (not necessary) he responds predictably, and jabs me three or four times while hunting for a vein. A drop of blood runs down my arm, which he wipes away barehandedly, and he asks if I am Muslim (No).
After being told to come back in an hour, I step back upstairs and, head low, walk out the front door. Grabbing a quiet place in the back of a café not far from the clinic, I engage in the standard activity of those waiting for the results of any STD test: reflection upon past risky behaviors, brutal self-criticism for having put yourself in whatever unhealthy situation it may have been, and ending of course with the requisite promise to the Almighty that if he gives you a slide this time, you will never, never, never do whatever it is that you have done again. After about forty-five minutes of this, I head back to the clinic to hear my judgment.
The story ends on a glad note my friends, and I am as clean as the day I was born. Curiously however, the receptionists were much more flirtatiously attentive upon my return. Also oddly, I am almost certain that the corner of the envelope containing my lab results was torn open, just a little. I’m meeting the veiled receptionist for coffee sometime next week.